My wife has cheated and lied to me repeatedly throughout our relationship

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He has lied about other things in the past started smoking behind my back and other things. It's like calling her a 'slut' in public.

It's shocking to hear how a counselor and a priest told you that, but I have to admit, that this is not uncommon at all, I would be more surprised to hear that there are more mental health professionals and religious leaders who happen to be really mature, assertive, ethical and responsible. Also, either get a counselor, and go with her, or get a divorce. You can't save the marriage alone from this kind of trauma.

My wife has cheated and lied to me repeatedly throughout our relationship

The article focuses on marriages, but I think it applies just as well to any committed relationship. Rather than a preliminary step to the foregone conclusion of , these temporary separations, planned out carefully between partners for a predetermined length of time and with guidelines regarding finances and child care, provide a cooling-off period with the added benefit of allowing the partners to see what life will be like without each other. Some therapists believe that is OK, as long as both parties are truly comfortable with the decision. But if the Hundred Acre Wood isn't one of your favorite hangouts, maybe you remember the years many of us spent at Central Perk. It may imply that the separation is less about re-evaluating the relationship and more about having a chance at guilt-free cheating for a while. This is a common justification offered for , and to be fair a temporary separation is a more honest way to go about it. Also, there is dating and then there is dating. Casually going out for dinner and a movie with someone is one thing, but —however you want to define it, whether emotional, physical or both—is another. As with everything within a relationship, it's up to the partners themselves to decide what they're comfortable with during the separation, especially regarding how much and what kind of intimacy in dating is allowed. But I would have to imagine that any intimacy during the separation would make getting back together afterward difficult although not impossible. The explicitly temporary of the separation implies the hope of eventual reconciliation and renewed intimacy within the relationship, but the experience of intimacy with someone else during the separation may only make that reconciliation harder to achieve, because that hope may seem less sincere. Given that goal, for all intents and purposes you are still involved with that person. But if your goal regarding the separation is simply to have free reign to play the field for a while, don't expect your partner to be happy to see you when you decide you're had enough. Having been through it myself, I think it's easy to create logical solutions and arguments for all kinds of advice, but in the end, I also think it's about giving people the space to figure themselves out. It so happens that that is often done via what a relationship and its problems has to teach them. If we say there is, then we deprive people of learning, and hopefully communicating, about how they really feel and also to work through the relationship outside of its imposed rules, which is where two people have the greatest opportunity to come together in honesty as human beings. If that happens, one is much better equipped to decide whether he or she is with the right person.

Your best bet at this point, start focusing on you. However, I just got rid of a north man because I did not want a relationship with a married man. I'm not sure if I can put this behind me and build a new trust in her, but my wife keeps saying that it was so long ago. There are 2 things I North firmly believe. That will tell you what you need to know. A few months after you wrote this, I made a devastating discovery of my own, though I did not get the same comoassion you did. After finding out he was contacting women from the piece site while still going to marriage counseling and claiming to be working on reconciling. She either 'comes to jesus' or she tries to manipulate you and play more head games. They said that they know it would be difficult for me, but they seemed sure the two of us would be a social couple and great parents to the little one.